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hello [Dec. 6th, 2005|09:54 pm]
chunks of crunk
its been along time sicen ive been here..and im going to go now...i dont want to live anymore
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only you.. [Feb. 11th, 2005|10:41 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |mellowmellow]
[Background Tune.. |only you - yaz]

looking from a window above, it's like a story of love
can you hear me
came back only yesterday
i'm moving further away
want you near me


all i needed was the love you gave
all i needed for another day
and all i ever knew
only you

sometimes when i think of her name when it's only a game
and i need you
listen to the words that you say it's getting harder to stay
when i see you



this is going to take a long time and i wonder what's mine
can't take no more
wonder if you'll understand it's just the touch of your hand
behind a closed door
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 [Feb. 5th, 2005|10:23 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |indescribableindescribable]
[Background Tune.. |always - blink 182]

Try to be gentle with your loved ones today, JB. Planetary energies could be filling you with a feeling of nervousness, and it could be easy to take this out on your family. Make it clear to your kids that you love them even if you're in a grumpy mood! Or tell your spouse that you've been sorting through some issues and don't mean to be rude. Open your heart and realize how much people care about you today.

the end
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fuck the old passion... [Dec. 27th, 2004|09:21 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |numbnumb]
[Background Tune.. |clocks - Coldplay]

Someone close to you may no longer share an old passion. This realization may take some getting used to. This does diminish the worth of the things you like. Focus on asserting your own likes and dislikes without seeking a need for anyone's approval.

the end..
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detach Part 3 [Dec. 26th, 2004|09:43 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |tiredtired]
[Background Tune.. |lately - jodeci]

You might want to nourish yourself with some prayer or meditation, JB. You'll enjoy tapping into some higher, uplifting energies. You will find it useful to read some inspirational literature so that you can clear your head. You need to detach from the stresses in your life for a while. Try to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you! You are just a tiny piece of a huge, glorious universe.
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c'mon and let it show... [Dec. 25th, 2004|09:30 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |hopefulhopeful]
[Background Tune.. |love is all around - billy mack]

I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes,
Christmas is all around me,
and so the feeling grows

It's written in the wind,
It's everywhere I go,
So if you really love Christmas,
C'mon and let it snow

You know I love Christmas
I always will
My mind's made up
The way that I feel
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

You gave your presents to me
And I gave mine to you
I need Santa beside me
In everything I do

You know I love Christmas
I always will
My mind's made up
The way that I feel
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
C'mon and let it show
C'mon and let it show
So if you really love
C'mon and let it
If you really love me
C'mon and let it
Now if you really love me
C'mon and let it show
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not even.. [Dec. 21st, 2004|11:04 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |lonelylonely]
[Background Tune.. |brick - ben folds]

she didn't call me....you win some


you lose all

the end
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its too hard.. [Dec. 20th, 2004|11:02 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |confusedconfused]
[Background Tune.. |cupid - 112]

its too hard..


i just got off the phone with Christine...its so hard to talk to her because she's irritated at me for calling her at home...she called me this time and i find it so hard to say what i want to say and tell the things i want to tell her...i want it to be like before...3 weeks apart and its changed...me liking her and telling her ...i don't know if i made a mistake?...i don't know if its worth it...and since i've irritated her she talks to me different...she made me feel retarded and stupid over the phone...she was sarcastic with me and i wasnt feeling her...she wasnt feeling me either...i wasnt feeling her because she made me feel stupid...she wasnt feeling me because i made the mistake of calling her at home..she was so irritated with me she cleaned her bathroom while on the phone...just shows how bad i did...i didn't know wether to keep talking or just hang up...i didn't want to hang up..i love this girl and i want to be friends with her so bad..she makes me smile....and we have fun...well we had fun...and she didnt m,ake me sile this time...i made her so mad she called me stupid and dumbass and told me to chill out and stop talking...she asked me who i liked and i told her..it was so hard to tell her that i like her...and when i did she started laughing...so much for that JB...i don't know why i found it so hard tonight...i hated what was going on and i wanted to just stop and start again..rewind the clock and just do it all over....i fucked up..honestly she was mad at me and i was mad at me too..i was mad at her cuz she was mad at me also!...but i was mad because i couldnt control it...i said stupid things ...i made her feel that way..i made her hate me tonight....and she was good at it...she had the upper hand tonight and she was right to be mad...right now i don't know what to feel..she wanted to go and she said she is gonna call me back....but she said she loves me...i don't know wether she said it just to make me smile or to make me feel better or to shut me up...thats the hard part now...i want her to call me back but i guess its just a matter of time....no kudos for you tonight JB...you did absolute shithouse tonight and your performance was fucking bad...shame on you JB...you are fucked...for now...so what if she says "i love you"....i just hope she meant it...i honestly do...is that insane??
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away from the sun Part 2 [Dec. 18th, 2004|11:04 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |detatched]
[Background Tune.. |away from the sun - 3 doors down]

detatched...thats what i am


thats what ill be


away from the sun....for now


the end..
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not the way i intended.. [Dec. 18th, 2004|08:44 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |confusedconfused]
[Background Tune.. |yellow - coldplay]

everything that i said i wanted to happen didn't....she didnt show up...the other girl didn't recognize me....she didn't call me....

i'm pretty sad now...but who cares...

move on jb..

the end
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away from the sun.. [Dec. 13th, 2004|10:07 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |calmcalm]
[Background Tune.. |away from the sun - 3 doors down]

one more day till i see her again...i wonder what we can talk about...i wonder what she thinks of me still...I've been away from her for so long and...I don't know what to expect...I'm going to make it good..no bullshit from me and hopefully none from her...but thats not a nice thing to say..i miss this girl and i know she misses me...well i hope so...but let's keep it simple JB...

i didn't work with heather today though...she was not scheduled...but thats ok...everyone at work was nice to me...i'm not suprised but just pleased that today went swell...thankyou God...today was swell and it was all in my favour...and right now i am happy...

as i think about it...I'm not away from the sun at all...i hold it in my hands and i let it shine...as bright as i want...and people like it...and now I've found my way..."this little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine"

the end
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doin just fine... [Dec. 12th, 2004|07:11 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |optimisticoptimistic]
[Background Tune.. |Lightning Crashes - Live]

i just got up from my nap..my mommy called me just to make sure everything is doing ok...my fam is doing very well back in Australia..i hope i can go back home next year ...i miss home

i didnt have work today but thats ok...giving me the day off is good...just a few more days till i see Christine again...i really miss her..i hope she calls me or sumtin...she says she does but i never get it...dear God please dont dont have it happen again..

i called heather last night but i only got her voicemail...i left a message so hopefully she got it and smiled??...im hopeless

anyways...I'm doing just fine

the end
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i did it... [Dec. 11th, 2004|05:35 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |accomplishedaccomplished]
[Background Tune.. |Damien Rice - the Blower's Daughter]

i feel so liberated...at work today we were really into the christmas spirit and we even had live bands crank it up sideways for all the customers...it so happens that a band that heather really likes (well she was singing to one of thier songs so ig uess she likes them), anyways...i spotted heather singing to the song but she was working at the time..i was already off from work but just cruising with my friend jamie..i was waiting for ranna to get off so i could treat her to jamba juice...anyways!...the opihi pickers finished thier set and were signing autographs...jamie thought it would be a good idea o grab it while they were there...i had an idea...i lined for an autograph and they were doing cd's and small posters...i grabbed a poster but i thought it wasnt enough..i asked the guys to make it out to...and the cd to....so i thanked the guys and i headed to the cash registers to check out the cd cuz i still had to pay for it...i lined up in heather's line and she finally attended to me...i gave her the empty cd case (the protective suit which she scanned...i had the poster and cd behind my back and she asked me "would you like to keep the box?"...i told her "you can keep it if you want...the cd isnt for me"...she looked at me and as she did, i pulled them from behind my back and i handed her the 2 gifts to her...

the look she gave me was absolutely what i wanted...she was so shocked and suprised that anyone would do that for her....but i did...I DID....i did...she kept looking at me and she gave me this smile...oh her smile...its so "dreamy"..ahhh...my friend jamie was with me and she thought i was so sweet...she still couldnt belive it and she kept thanking me...i was so in the moment and i didnt want it to stop...she kept on smiling even as i walked away..but i looked behind to see if she was still happy...i didnt need to

my brother said that before i try to know this girl..i should get her to trust me first and build that trust and proceed from there...i think I've laid the stepping stone and now..now I'm just happy...

i did it...i did it for her...
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that four letter word... [Dec. 10th, 2004|08:32 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |tiredtired]
[Background Tune.. |Damien Rice]

i havent seen them in 3 weeks...i am just lonely......my case is more like a disease...and i don't know what the cure is...it's love actually
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the end.. [Dec. 8th, 2004|06:16 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |crankycranky]
[Background Tune.. |meant to live - switchfoot]

i spent the whole day at home all dressed up looking good...
i thought i was gonna go out...but instead i sat at home and pondered over the 2 gurls i like..

im still confused..i miss christine alot..shes working tonight but i dunno if i should go see her...

im not as happy as i should be

the end..
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gurls... [Dec. 7th, 2004|11:28 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |discontentdiscontent]
[Background Tune.. |i miss you - blink 182]

work was good...i got to do a few hours in the cafe which is good for my evaluation...thanks shannel...urdabom!..lol..
i worked with heather today but i just felt really weird but i got to talk about it with shannel and my friend Inez...i got it off my chest and she said she will try and help me out...
i called heather up but she was at tahitian dancing..oh my god..thats just too sexy for me...

i got to hang with ranna today and she brought me home...shes so funni..i got her all hungry for jamba juice and CPK cuz i just kept going on and on bout it..lol...we agreed to me taking her out to eat at CPK soon...hehe

while i was folding the clothes i decided to call Christine even though she doesnt wnat me calling her house but rather have it the other way around...she got mad at me but she wasnt fully mad...she still wanted to talk to me but she agreed that she'll just see me and talk to me on thursday...im excited but theres something else missing..im not sure

tommorrow imma kick it with brandy..i dunno what were gunna do but imma kick it with her cuz she needs ppl...i invited ranna but shes working and shes got plans at the beach..maybe we might mysteriously bump into each other...maybe?...lol

amen...
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2 christine.. [Dec. 6th, 2004|06:59 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |blahblah]
[Background Tune.. |Lonely - Brian McKnight]

Are you lonely for me?

Sunday night, two weeks past
The last time, I saw your face
Our separate ways, we decided to go
Now I find my self
Sitting down, thinking 'bout everything
To this place, we've come to how?
You used to be down
Memories of you
And could you be thinking 'bout me right now?

Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
You shouldn't try to hide the way you feel inside
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
Just let me make it right, and stay with me tonight
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
I won't believe we're through
Tell me what you wanna do
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
Hey

There's no good in goodbye
That's a lie, I wish we could back when we first met
How to forgive and forget
I wish that I could have you right here next to me
You're supposed to be in my arms
Through stormy weather safe from harm
Can we be down?
Show me how, I wish I could hear from you right now

Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
You shouldn't try to hide the way you feel inside
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
Just let me make it right, and stay with me tonight
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
I won't believe we're through
Tell me what you wanna do
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
Hey

Lay it on the line
I won't waste your time
We can make it work
I know we'll be fine
Together we can start
Never be apart again
Are you lonely?

Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
You shouldn't try to hide the way you feel inside
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
Just let me make it right, and stay with me tonight
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
I won't believe we're through
Tell me what you wanna do
Are you lonely for me?
(Are you lonely for me?)
Hey
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time will reveal.. [Dec. 5th, 2004|10:24 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |in love]
[Background Tune.. |time will reveal - B2M]

i feel so bad that i didn't get to spend more time with Christine today...when we did see each other i just wanted to stop working and just be with her..she noticed that there was something wrong with me today and it was the fact that we didn't get to hang out with each other that made me really really upset...i honestly love her and she said to me today " i miss you and i love you"...tell me how to deal please...i want to call her and hear her voice...i want to hear her sing..i want her...she makes me smile and she says she loves me...i'll give it some time i guess...

the end...
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no worries mate.. [Dec. 3rd, 2004|04:20 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |pleasedpleased]
[Background Tune.. |Smashing Pumpkins - 1979]

last night i headed out to Bubba Gump's Shrimp Restaurant at Ala Moana..i cruised with my frend Brandy and her girl...and Inez and her Bf...had an awesome dinner and i got a free glass which was pretty schmick...after we strolled over to Dole Cannery to watch Alexander...it was a hella long movie with a schweet war scene...it ended at 12 sumtin and since there wasnt much else to do we cruised home...

i really wanted heather and/or christine to come last night...i tried so hard to get heathers number but she had Tahitian dancing so it wasnt gonna happen and Christine was working till 11 so that wouldnt have happened either!...Ranna was supposed to go but she was at her dad's while he worked on her car...so that wasnt gonna happen either..but i hung out with her in the morning...no worries mate

i'm working today at 6 till 11...brandy sez shes gonna bring me home tonight cuz she working till 11 too...no worries mate
i know christine isnt gonna be working either..shes off today but i really want to see her..i think i already mentioned the notes i left for her but if i didnt....i left christine some notes

heather looked darker...maybe cuz she went to tahiti to dance...no worries mate

this morning i went to Ko Olina with my cuzin Angela...we just chilled in the water which was hella cold and i taught her some swimming techniques...she already knew the basics...no worries mate...i got subway after and ate by myself while she got a pedi/manicure at Tiffany's...they did a hella good job and she was friends with the gurl that did the job so it looked good anyways...i got her some Jamba Juice at the Kapolei Store and the gurl that worked there, Krystal was her name was totally scammin on me...she made some movement with her hands that said that she was hott..like a fanning motion and i started to laugh..but only to myself...i started talking to the other gurl and she took my order..it was good to bond with fellow Jambonians...no worries mate

so now i'm home and i'm bout to take a shower...just waiting for a lil cuz cat to get out...there was a big thump just before...i think she slipped in the tub...dunno mate

i think im just gonna eat some red vines and chill till work starts...damn that subway was good!

schlates...


ps..i think im falling for 2 gurls..no worries mate
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anti up... [Dec. 2nd, 2004|04:43 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |creativecreative]
[Background Tune.. |let's go - Trick Daddy]

got woken up by Ranna at 8.30 am...she wants to pick up her paycheck with me and then go out and spend it..$$$


she picks me up and we head out to Pearl City...her car is pumpin the bass

we eat something and we go to Forever 21..shes picks up so many tops and they looked so good on her...shes got one of those bodies...hmmmm

shes at school now and she plans on callin me up later...so does Christine...she read the notes i left her in her locker because Ranna told me she did cuz they worked together last night...so yeh they are gonna call...

i saw heather today while i picked up my check...she said she missed me cuz she hasnt been at work in a while...i missed her too


did all the laundry today too...

schlates!
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one call away.. [Dec. 2nd, 2004|12:38 am]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |lonelylonely]
[Background Tune.. |CMB - Living Without Her]

i miss christine...i want her to call me...

i promise i will sing to you

the end
LinkLeave a comment

2 days off.. [Nov. 19th, 2004|02:59 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |Delicious]
[Background Tune.. |anti up - busta rhymes and M.O.P]

this is my 2nd day off in a row...my brother and parents have already left for home...its alot quieter in the house now since everybody left...i guess i notice much more since i'm at home...

i drew another piece yesterday afternoon outside...the moment was so right and my piece looks dope...im proud

i went to sam's club this morning to grab some stuff along with my paycheck..its much lower than before cause they cut my hours down...they cut everyone's hours down and its all thanks to Dean..he does the schedule now and it's more fucked than ever..he's still a bitch and i hope he runs into a knife or something sharp...

and nearly everyone knows i like heather now..they talk bout me in the break room,they think its cute...but the thing is i havent seen heather in a bit...i hung out with one of my co-workers who is now considered a really close friend...shes the same age and we get along mad...she says she always looks on the schedule if i'm working the same shift or close to it...shes great to talk to and she knows i like heather..she thinks its cute too..and she wears this lip gloss..i think she has a fetish or something but she always smells good, i thanks up above for people like her

well..thats all i guess..

i'd say my sitch at the moment is ..delicious

schlates mates..
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the rundown... [Nov. 5th, 2004|11:15 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |pessimisticpessimistic]
[Background Tune.. |clocks - coldplay]

life - im still on my medication for my allergies, the doctors told me to keep a log of how my condition is going so that they can detect the problems before its too late,so far nothings shown up...but i cant soley rely on this medication to keep me well, and if i do..ill probably be sleeping for most of the day, my parents are leaving this thursday to go back home to Australia, thier vacation went by so fast i don't know if i'll be able to handle it, i don't know when i'll be going back home since i'm living here and all, but i'd really like to go back to say goodbye to everyone officially, i really miss my friends back home and its not the same. my brother is planning on leaving on Friday, he says early morning about 7 o'clock, i highly disagree on that assumption, maybe he's actually going to do it, my parents really want him home too, since they've seen him here. I, on the other hand, don't want any of my family to leave, i got used to my mom's cooking and my dad's talks so quick that i might get withdrawal symptoms and then might have to take medication for that, basically i'm going to be letting go of alot of things, no jobs or anything like that but people, and these people mean more to me than anything, and for those who think i've let go?..your just not holding on tight enough...and i wish you would. I'm starting to prep up for school, i have to go down to the school to get some more information on the subjects i'm going to be taking, i'm going to take this school thing slow but seriously, i'd rather know the information well over time than try to cram it all in my brain all at once and then forget, i hope it works out. my life is pretty mediocre, i'm not pleased about most things but i'm trying my hardest not to be depressed about it and if i let it get to me, it makes my condition worse and i don't want that one bit.

love - if its any consolation jessie, i'd really like for us to be friends, i know that i'm so far away and it would probably be a one in a billion trillion million chance that i'd ever be with you but i really want to be your friend, best friend if u have the patience..but yeah i got worried that you didnt want to "keep in touch" anymore, i didnt want to say anything or do anything just in case you got the wrong idea but yeah i didnt know wether you were just busy or not...i don't want you to think the wrong things about me but i'd just like us to be friends cuz i always care about what your doing and when i dont hear from you, it makes me think im not wanted, so please let me know if i'm still wanted, i'm sending you a bunch a letters soon, you dont have to reply back but i just hope you appreciate it, i love you bubs...and i miss you too

work - i still work at Sam's but they cut my hours alot this past week, they probably saw how much im making cuz i work so hard and they decided to cut it, big deal Mr. Sam's Club, i got another jobs at Jamba Juice and although their pay is not the best, it's still money and it can be spent too. yesterday i had a one on one meeting with my boss JB, i told him about my situation with my condition and how i'm really stressed out about a whole bunch of stuff and he was really understanding about it, and he said that he would work around my schedule so i wouldn't have to worry anymore, he also told me there is a meeting at his house this sunday and after we are having a party after, and some people are even crashing at his house cuz he lives in this place called Kaneohe, which is like rainforest and everything is lush and green on that side and he sed that we might hike or go to the beach, so i cant wait, and it'll also be a comeback for me and i can get to see everyone again.

so there is a rundown of my situation at the moment, nothing fascinating but hopefully informative.

schlates..
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i've fallen for her... [Nov. 5th, 2004|11:15 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |determineddetermined]
[Background Tune.. |i melt with you - mest]

how can you tell a girl that shes beautiful...and then accidentally hit her in the face?...

easy?....yup!..just ask me

how can u reverse that and make her like you?...does caressing her face and kissing her lips make it better?

not sure...but i intend to find out

whatever the weather...i will get you heather

schlaters...
LinkLeave a comment

this is later.. [Nov. 5th, 2004|11:15 pm]
chunks of crunk
[How I'm Feeling.. |confusedconfused]
[Background Tune.. |doin just fine - B2M]

There was a time when I thought life was over and out,
When you went away from me,
My dying heart made it hard to breathe.
Would sit in my room,
Because I didn't want to have to go out,
And see you walking by,
One look and I'd break right down and cry.
Now you say that you made a big mistake,
Never meant to take your love awway,
But you can save your tired apologies,
'Cause it may seem hard to believe but
I'm doin' just fine,
Getting along very well without you in my life.
I don't need you in my life.
I'm doin' just fine,
Time made me stronger,
You're no longer on my mind.
You were my Earth,
My number one priority.
Gave my love to only you,
Anything you'd ask of me I would do.
But somewhere down the road,
You felt a change in the weather
And told me that you had to journey on.
A kiss in the wind and your love was gone.
Now you say you never meant to play your games,
But girl don't you know it's far too late,
Because you let our love just fall apart,
You no longer have my heart.
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